Thursday, January 8, 2009

Rejecting C.S. Lewis: Contemporary Publishing Advice

Dear Mr. Lewis,

Thank you for your recent manuscript submission, Miracles: A Preliminary Study. I'm afraid that in its current state it does not suit our publishing needs. But we might be interested if you could implement the following changes:
  • The text is too dense. Add some bulleted lists.
  • Paragraphs and sentences are too long. Shorten them considerably.
  • Too many cultural literacy references (current readers want simple, how-to oriented tips; they don't want to think!).
  • Ideas are too intricately connected from one chapter to another, as though you were building a broad, integrated argument.
  • Make each chapter a self-contained, uplifting pat on the back.
The title does not lend itself well to current market trends. It needs more pizzazz. I suggest something along the lines of Be the Miracle! A Simple Guide to Fulfillment, Your Best Miracle Today, or Five Steps to a Miracle-Driven Life.

Also, is there a way you might tone down the religious aspects of your manuscript in order to appeal to a broader market? And have you thought about spin-offs and merchandising? You have enough text for several books, maybe a trilogy or a cycle. With the latter you might continue writing until the series becomes unprofitable.

Merchandising could include T-shirts, bracelets, gift books of quotations from your work, a day-by-day calendar, Bible covers, figurines, holiday ornaments, baseball caps, Miracle Oven Mitts®, etc. Give it some thought!

Finally, in skimming over your other manuscript, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, I see some small potential. Have you considered removing the Aslan character? He's quite imposing. Or instead of a lion make him a panda, hippopotamus, or koala (our market research indicates that these animals are tracking well in focus groups).

Cordially,

A. Christian
Publisher

2 comments:

Adel Thalos said...

Excellent parody!! Thank you.

Martin LaBar said...

Ouch. Sounds all too true.